FAITH MATTERS: How Can I Find the Right Church for Me?
From The Gardner News, Saturday, July 8, 2006:
When people describe themselves to me as “spiritual, but not religious”, I often sense behind their words a mistrust of organized religion. I can’t blame them. There are over 2000 Christian denominations in the United States, as well as thousands of unaffiliated churches, each with differing understandings of scripture, ritual, how churches should be organized, and even how God is revealed in the world. It can be overwhelming!
Some people I talk to would like to find a church home, but feel bewildered by the sheer number of options available to them. Perhaps they have tried one or two and came away unsettled, confused by the language and rituals, or didn’t feel welcomed. How do you find a spiritual home? My simple answer is: Pray! Ask God to lead you to a spiritual home. My experience is that when you do this, you start to hear friends and family sharing about places they find spiritual nurture, places they find meaningful.
Try several different churches or religious communities until you find one where you feel welcome. What that means will be different for different people. Is this a community where you can authentically be yourself, even if you don’t have all the answers and simply want to explore the questions you have? Is this a community where you feel welcomed for who you are, even if you are divorced, or unmarried, or gay or lesbian? Is this a community whose values you would like your children to have--the values you feel walking through the door, not just the values preached from the pulpit?
Is this a place where your soul feels nourished? Did you leave having had an encounter with the Holy in some way? Does this community bring you in touch with something larger than yourself, something that affirms life in ways that are important to you? It may take a while, but you will know in your heart if it is right for you.
The life of faith is not a spectator sport; it is a journey that no one, not even a gifted preacher, can make on our behalf. We need to find a church that invites us into the journey in a way that we feel comfortable with, but that also challenges us to grow. A church community should offer opportunities to share our faith journeys, to explore our questions, and to grow in prayer. It should help us understand the faith tradition we are part of and the ways it has been transmitted and revealed to us through the centuries. It should give us a center from which to live our lives and face the challenges that come our way. It should offer us nourishment for the journey, not just on Sunday, but enough to carry us through the week ahead. It should offer us ways to live our faith through service to others beyond the church community.
If the church you visit doesn’t make you feel welcome, or if it doesn’t feed your soul, then continue praying, and let yourself be led to another! There is a spiritual community out there waiting for you.